Think before you speak…

what to sayDivorce is hard.  So hard that we often forget that our words are powerful and can shape the outcome in an unintended way.  Often we are hurt, angry or grieving, and it is difficult for us not to be hurtful when we speak to our spouse during the divorce process.  I have found that it is helpful to remember this saying, and to meditate on it for a bit before we speak.   We will often have a better outcome overall if we do this.

It is from the book “The Healing Garden: A Place of Peace” by Gwen Nyhus Stewart. The quote: “Eknath Easwarden wrote, “The Sufis advise us to speak only after our words have managed to pass through three gates.  At the first gate, we ask ourselves, Are these words true?  If so, we let them pass on; if not, back they go.  At the second gate we ask, Are they necessary?  If so, we let them pass on; if not, back thy go.  At the third gate, we ask, Are they kind?  If so, we let them pass on.  If not, back they go.”

The Dalai Lama says, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

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